I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE, AND YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT....
I have always hated my mustache. I know, I know- blasphemy right? Let me explain.... Once my mustache hits a certain length, basically anything more than stubble, it turns into an irritating, itchy mess. It's pretty much like having Gilbert Gottfried wrapped in fiberglass insulation hanging off of my face. It pisses me off, is pretty much unbearable, and according to my wife makes me unkissable. I have avoided having a mustache for as long as I have been able to grow one- all because there has been no comfortable way for me to maintain a cactus growing out of my upper lip. But, as my journey into the beard progressed, I began to realize that the mustache is an essential part of an awesome beard. This left me with a problem, a problem that needed solving. I set to work creating a mustache wax that would keep my mustache where I wanted it, looked natural, and softened the pungi-stick like hairs of my mustache. Oh yeah, and it had to smell great too.
AND THUS, MUSTACHE TRANQUILIZER WAS BORN.
Formulated from Bees Wax, Shea Butter, and Beard Mountain Trading Company Beard Potion, Mustache Tranquilizer is not your ordinary Mustache Wax. Beeswax, Shea Butter, and Beard Potion combine to relax your mustache and bend it to your will. I didn't set out to make a wax that would create a Dr. Seuss-like mustache worthy of a place in the museum of modern art, there are already plenty of those. What I did want was a wax that was easy to use, looked natural, held my 'stache, and smelled like a bee farm in paradise. And that is exactly what I got. If you are looking for a mustache wax that gives you a clean, natural hold, doesn't feel like tree sap, gives you a noticeably softer mustache, and smells better than anything else you own, then you, my friend, have found that mustache wax.
STOP THE STRUGGLE TO KEEP A DECENT MUSTACHE, GET SOME MUSTACHE TRANQUILIZER!
MUSTACHE TRANQUILIZER CONTAINS:
- Shea Butter
- Grape seed
ALWAYS TEST ON A SMALL AREA OF SKIN TO CHECK FOR ALLERGY OR REACTIONS.
To use Mustache Tranquilizer, you can scratch a little off with your nail or apply directly from the tube. Apply to your mustache by rubbing it right on there. You should notice an amazing smell almost immediately. Use fingers and thumbs to apply wax and bend mustache to your will. The heat generated from rubbing the wax into the mustache should melt any visible wax and leave only shine. Use once or twice a day, and after taking a shower gives pretty good results.
IF REACTION OCCURS, DISCONTINUE USE IMMEDIATELY.
THIS PRODUCT HAS NOT BEEN TESTED FOR SAFETY ON HUMANS, BUT IS FINE FOR BEARS